At some point in life parents often need the help of their children. As the aging process continues your parents may need medical assistance and some kind of assisted living. Having the conversation with your parents about how they want to handle an assisted living situation can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it is necessary. There are several things to keep in mind when you are having the conversation with your parents.


The first thing to remember is that your parents still long for the dignity and respect they once had. Losing some of their independence is a difficult process and you want to make it a decision that they are involved in. Respect their opinion, listen to what they want and make sure that you make not of all of their desires. You might be prepared with a notepad so that you are getting all of the information. This will help you to remember what they want and it will show them that you respect what they are saying.

Involve Them

Make sure that you express to your parents how much you want to help them live their life to its fullest. They don't want to feel like they are losing control of their life but more like they are starting a new section of life. Point out some of the hazards that you might be concerned with if they remain living in their own home without assistance. Go over some of the pros and cons of staying where they are and of moving into a facility that has help readily available.

Have Facts on Hand

Have a few pamphlets on hand or pull up some of the facilities to consider on your computer or tablet. This will help them to visualize what you are talking about when you are first discussing the option of moving into an elder care facility. This will also help them to see some of the benefits available and for you all to weigh the options on these facilities.

Be Organized

Stay organized through the conversation in a business-like manner, but make sure that you keep it a conversation with your parents. A comparison chart can be very beneficial during the conversation and could make it easier for you to remember what things you and your parents found to be an advantage about one facility over another. Make sure that you work with your parents to go through the chart and narrow down the options.


Once you and your parents have determined which facilities will provide your parents with the care needed and the amenities and services they desire, take the time to schedule a tour of the facilities. This will allow you and your family member to get an idea of the facility options. Take the time to make sure that you are looking at the care givers at the facility as well as the overall condition of the building. A tour of the facility will also help your loved one to feel like they are maintaining some control over their decision making and independence.